I feel like my entire life is falling apart.
Depressing, I know. But it's the truth.
I can't even look at certain pictures anymore without wanting to cry.
I feel like there are only about five people I can ALWAYS count on. Don't get me wrong, I love having those people that I know will always be there for me. Those people know who they are...at least, I hope they do.
But then there are the people who SAY they'll always be here for me...but I just don't believe them anymore. And THAT is a crappy feeling.
Everything in my life has changed. I know change is bound to happen sooner or later, but when everything changes at once, it's kind of hard to deal with.
Lately, I've been feeling like I've completely lost my way; like I'm starting to not know who I am anymore.
It's like I'm just sitting around, watching the world go by and watching good things happen to other people.
While this may seem like a depressing blog (which I guess it is so far), I can tell you one thing:
It isn't.
Because I'm done sitting around. It's time I started living my life the way I want to live it.
I'm done letting other people tell me how to live my life.
I'm done trying to satisfy other people.
I'm done trying to keep my feelings to myself.
So to all the people who have ever made me feel almost heartbroken...
To all the people who have ever made me feel like falling apart and giving up...
To all the people who simply don't give me enough credit...
To all the people who have ever had even one negative thought or thing to say about me...
I'm going to prove you wrong.
And I'm going to show you just how smart I am.
I'm going to show you that karma, no matter how long it takes, really is a you know what.
And to all the people who haven't given up on me...
To all the people who have believed that I can do great things...
To all the people who haven't hated me for things that are beyond my control...
To all the people who care enough to break down the walls I build...
To all the people who love me for who I am, mistakes and all...
Thank you.
You are the ones who keep me going every day.
I've gotta pick myself up, where do I start? 'Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.
I know who I can turn to. I know who is always there for me.
Don't think I don't know when people talk crap about me behind my back.
I'm a heck of a lot smarter than you all think I am.
Street smarts go a long way these days.
I'll prove that in time ;]
And you know what the funniest part of it all is?
It's those people who treat me like crap who make me want to work that much harder.
So, I've decided not to give up on myself just yet.
If you care for me at all, you'll do the same.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
I need a little motivation...
Nothing at all is motivating me to finish two of the classes I so desperately need to finish.
I'd way rather do my other classes, but I know I can't do them until I get these two over with.
The worst of the two? Algebra 2.
I hate it.
And not even the fact that if I finish that class along with Fine Art (which is basically art history) my mom will book our flights to L.A. is motivating me.
I mean really, everyone knows how badly I want to go out to L.A.
And I know if I don't make my mom book the flights soon, it's not going to happen as planned.
So I NEED to finish.
I just can't seem to.
So here's what I'm going to try to do. Key word: TRY.
I'm going to try to finish both of those classes by the time my mom gets home on Sunday. Then for a little extra oomph (I love that word) to guarantee that she'll book our flights, I'll try to finish a test for Psychology and do a few experiments for Bio Lab.
The chances of the extra stuff actually getting done are slim to none, but hey, it's worth a shot.
It sucks though, because I just can't seem to motivate myself to get going on it.
It's not that it's that hard, because it's not.
I don't really know WHAT it is that's keeping me from starting.
I just can't seem to start.
Maybe it's the fact that I have about 23984720384 thoughts running through my head so I can't focus at all.
Try focusing when you feel like your head is spinning like a tornado...it's not so easy.
And it also doesn't help that it's about 4:30 a.m. which means I probably won't wake up until really late tomorrow.
And I hate doing work at night because I'd way rather just chill and talk to people.
RAWR.
Algebra 2.
You are the death of me.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
I'd way rather do my other classes, but I know I can't do them until I get these two over with.
The worst of the two? Algebra 2.
I hate it.
And not even the fact that if I finish that class along with Fine Art (which is basically art history) my mom will book our flights to L.A. is motivating me.
I mean really, everyone knows how badly I want to go out to L.A.
And I know if I don't make my mom book the flights soon, it's not going to happen as planned.
So I NEED to finish.
I just can't seem to.
So here's what I'm going to try to do. Key word: TRY.
I'm going to try to finish both of those classes by the time my mom gets home on Sunday. Then for a little extra oomph (I love that word) to guarantee that she'll book our flights, I'll try to finish a test for Psychology and do a few experiments for Bio Lab.
The chances of the extra stuff actually getting done are slim to none, but hey, it's worth a shot.
It sucks though, because I just can't seem to motivate myself to get going on it.
It's not that it's that hard, because it's not.
I don't really know WHAT it is that's keeping me from starting.
I just can't seem to start.
Maybe it's the fact that I have about 23984720384 thoughts running through my head so I can't focus at all.
Try focusing when you feel like your head is spinning like a tornado...it's not so easy.
And it also doesn't help that it's about 4:30 a.m. which means I probably won't wake up until really late tomorrow.
And I hate doing work at night because I'd way rather just chill and talk to people.
RAWR.
Algebra 2.
You are the death of me.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Barron Blog
No, not barren, BARRON! As in Morgan Leigh Barron. As in the topic of this blog.
She is the only person who will ever have an entire blog dedicated to her, so everyone should be extremely jealous.
So her name is Morgan Leigh Barron, but you all probably know her as MoGo. She’s pretty much my best friend in the entire world and she dominates at all things in this thing we call ‘life.’ She is the only person I know who would put a live chick on her head. She is a pro raver, and always knows what I’m talking about when I say, “Who’s gonna sleep in the middle?!” We have a gay friend at Metropark in Atlanta who absolutely adores his little red jacket from the women’s section. She lacks a natural tan, but that means she would have been rich in the old days (so would I!). She can rock a spray tan better and more naturally than anyone I’ve ever met. She travels all over the country all the time, just like me. Oh wait, that’s because a lot of the time, she IS with me! She is the master of April Fools, so if she didn’t get you this year, watch your back next year! Sometimes she sneezes, resulting in her inhaling a magnetic nose ring and pulling it out of her mouth. Only half of it was removed, however. The back of it was never to be seen again. Also, don’t bother asking her where the Hampton Inn is, she’ll interrupt you before you even finish saying ‘Hampton’ so she can scream ‘NO!’ We have the ability to talk with our eyes, which really bugs a few people, one in particular. We love the following things: Magnolia Cupcakes, The Gramercy Park Hotel, polka dotted walls, hotel fitness centers, raves, and lots of other stuff. She was the original four-letter-nickname-er, and as far as I can remember, I was the second. Then came CoKo, PoGo, NoGo, YoGo, BoGo, DoGo, ToGo, and JoPo. Chances are, she’s a million times cooler than you’ll ever be, but she doesn’t add creepers on her Myspace. So don’t be a creeper and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to actually talk to her! I think that’s all I’m going to tell you about Morgan Leigh Barron, because if I tell you anything else, you’ll either know enough to stalk her, or you’ll try to become her bestest friend and I’ll never be able to speak to her again.
In Morgan’s honor:::
ROCK OFF, RAVE ON
<3
mm
She is the only person who will ever have an entire blog dedicated to her, so everyone should be extremely jealous.
So her name is Morgan Leigh Barron, but you all probably know her as MoGo. She’s pretty much my best friend in the entire world and she dominates at all things in this thing we call ‘life.’ She is the only person I know who would put a live chick on her head. She is a pro raver, and always knows what I’m talking about when I say, “Who’s gonna sleep in the middle?!” We have a gay friend at Metropark in Atlanta who absolutely adores his little red jacket from the women’s section. She lacks a natural tan, but that means she would have been rich in the old days (so would I!). She can rock a spray tan better and more naturally than anyone I’ve ever met. She travels all over the country all the time, just like me. Oh wait, that’s because a lot of the time, she IS with me! She is the master of April Fools, so if she didn’t get you this year, watch your back next year! Sometimes she sneezes, resulting in her inhaling a magnetic nose ring and pulling it out of her mouth. Only half of it was removed, however. The back of it was never to be seen again. Also, don’t bother asking her where the Hampton Inn is, she’ll interrupt you before you even finish saying ‘Hampton’ so she can scream ‘NO!’ We have the ability to talk with our eyes, which really bugs a few people, one in particular. We love the following things: Magnolia Cupcakes, The Gramercy Park Hotel, polka dotted walls, hotel fitness centers, raves, and lots of other stuff. She was the original four-letter-nickname-er, and as far as I can remember, I was the second. Then came CoKo, PoGo, NoGo, YoGo, BoGo, DoGo, ToGo, and JoPo. Chances are, she’s a million times cooler than you’ll ever be, but she doesn’t add creepers on her Myspace. So don’t be a creeper and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to actually talk to her! I think that’s all I’m going to tell you about Morgan Leigh Barron, because if I tell you anything else, you’ll either know enough to stalk her, or you’ll try to become her bestest friend and I’ll never be able to speak to her again.
In Morgan’s honor:::
ROCK OFF, RAVE ON
<3
mm
Monday, March 31, 2008
RAWR
I wanted to update this.
But I had no ideas of what to write about since my life at the moment is rather boring.
So I asked Lisa for some help. She told me to write about frogs, then said it was fun to squish their bladders.
Which brings me to the subject of her always asking me if I've dissected the frog yet.
I don't plan on doing that anytime soon. She can do it for me if she has so much fun with it.
Then she said to write about ice cubes because they rock.
I said it would have been better if she said they were cool because it would have had a double meaning.
As I'm typing this, I realize it was much funnier when it was actually being said than when it's typed up for other people.
People rarely understand ToGoJo humor. LAME.
Anyways, Morgan is coming up here for Bamboozle =D I'm like a million times more excited now! Then in June we're going to L.A. which will be AMAZING!!! I think we should go see Kanye if that's the time that we're there. All I know for sure is, I'm forcing Barbie (not the doll, the actual person, haha) to come up to see us. Or we'll all go to Disneyland/California Adventure and be idiots and have a rave or something.
And now, stealing this idea from Garbo's blog (only it won't be nearly as rad and instead I'll just list some random facts about her), here's a little something all about LISA!!!!
As everyone knows, Lisa is Asian, but the workers at McDonald's sometimes like to remind her of that fact when giving her a Big Mac. She absolutely HATES hugs, so my word of advice is when you see her, give her the biggest and tightest hug you've ever given anyone in your life, even if you don't know her! When she takes off her glasses, she looks extra Asian. I always remind her of this by screaming, "YOU LOOK SO ASIAN!" We like to make random voice blogs, most of which are absolutely pointless. She can play the drums like it's her job which makes me jealous, and she can even play a little guitar which also makes me jealous. But most of the time, she likes to steal my guitar instead of using her own which she left at my house. She takes better pictures than anyone else on the planet, although at the Wallingford show, I must admit my skills were half as good as hers which made me proud. She has celebrity crushes on guys who are much too young for her, but for the sake of privacy and creeper issues, their names will be witheld. She runs Shine On-Media which is basically the only (yes, ONLY *coughcough*) site devoted to celebrities out there that is actually worth checking out. Zac Efron, Cody Linley, Monique Coleman, Aly & AJ, and oh yeah, THE JONAS BROTHERS, all know about the site. The Jonas Brothers in particular are probably the biggest fans of the site which is why she always gets the best interviews (one of which I asked the questions for - the one where Joe is drinking the water and tells the story in a southern accent). While I have a love for Elmo's, she has a love for the fact that her icon (of he who shall not be named) was watching my icon of Elmo dancing. She doesn't quite understand my obsession with 'Across the Universe' or for shiny things, but I'll forgive her for that. At this point, I think that's all I can really tell you without you knowing so much about her that you want to stalk her, but just let me remind you that she is Asian. Oh, she's also short. But chances are, she's way radder than you'll ever be. Meet her, hug her, love her, worship her. Just don't stalk her, that's creepy.
Also, vote for her in Popstar Magazine's award thingy. Shine On-Media is nominated for best official site. We all know you love myspace.com/jonasbrothers, but Shine On-Media is the shiz, so vote for that instead!!
Next blog will feature: Morgan Leigh Barron
Uhhh, that's all.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
Or should I go all rave on you and say::
P.L.U.R.
-or-
ROCK OFF, RAVE ON!
<3
mm
But I had no ideas of what to write about since my life at the moment is rather boring.
So I asked Lisa for some help. She told me to write about frogs, then said it was fun to squish their bladders.
Which brings me to the subject of her always asking me if I've dissected the frog yet.
I don't plan on doing that anytime soon. She can do it for me if she has so much fun with it.
Then she said to write about ice cubes because they rock.
I said it would have been better if she said they were cool because it would have had a double meaning.
As I'm typing this, I realize it was much funnier when it was actually being said than when it's typed up for other people.
People rarely understand ToGoJo humor. LAME.
Anyways, Morgan is coming up here for Bamboozle =D I'm like a million times more excited now! Then in June we're going to L.A. which will be AMAZING!!! I think we should go see Kanye if that's the time that we're there. All I know for sure is, I'm forcing Barbie (not the doll, the actual person, haha) to come up to see us. Or we'll all go to Disneyland/California Adventure and be idiots and have a rave or something.
And now, stealing this idea from Garbo's blog (only it won't be nearly as rad and instead I'll just list some random facts about her), here's a little something all about LISA!!!!
As everyone knows, Lisa is Asian, but the workers at McDonald's sometimes like to remind her of that fact when giving her a Big Mac. She absolutely HATES hugs, so my word of advice is when you see her, give her the biggest and tightest hug you've ever given anyone in your life, even if you don't know her! When she takes off her glasses, she looks extra Asian. I always remind her of this by screaming, "YOU LOOK SO ASIAN!" We like to make random voice blogs, most of which are absolutely pointless. She can play the drums like it's her job which makes me jealous, and she can even play a little guitar which also makes me jealous. But most of the time, she likes to steal my guitar instead of using her own which she left at my house. She takes better pictures than anyone else on the planet, although at the Wallingford show, I must admit my skills were half as good as hers which made me proud. She has celebrity crushes on guys who are much too young for her, but for the sake of privacy and creeper issues, their names will be witheld. She runs Shine On-Media which is basically the only (yes, ONLY *coughcough*) site devoted to celebrities out there that is actually worth checking out. Zac Efron, Cody Linley, Monique Coleman, Aly & AJ, and oh yeah, THE JONAS BROTHERS, all know about the site. The Jonas Brothers in particular are probably the biggest fans of the site which is why she always gets the best interviews (one of which I asked the questions for - the one where Joe is drinking the water and tells the story in a southern accent). While I have a love for Elmo's, she has a love for the fact that her icon (of he who shall not be named) was watching my icon of Elmo dancing. She doesn't quite understand my obsession with 'Across the Universe' or for shiny things, but I'll forgive her for that. At this point, I think that's all I can really tell you without you knowing so much about her that you want to stalk her, but just let me remind you that she is Asian. Oh, she's also short. But chances are, she's way radder than you'll ever be. Meet her, hug her, love her, worship her. Just don't stalk her, that's creepy.
Also, vote for her in Popstar Magazine's award thingy. Shine On-Media is nominated for best official site. We all know you love myspace.com/jonasbrothers, but Shine On-Media is the shiz, so vote for that instead!!
Next blog will feature: Morgan Leigh Barron
Uhhh, that's all.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
Or should I go all rave on you and say::
P.L.U.R.
-or-
ROCK OFF, RAVE ON!
<3
mm
Friday, March 21, 2008
I'm Beating You to the Gaf
The fact that I'm updating this thing within 10 days of my last post makes me proud, I must say.
I'll try to keep this a regular occurrence.
Soooo, let's see here.
Some people have been asking me what shows on the Burning Up Tour I'll be going to.
Answer? I'm not sure yet. Definitely the ones in Pennsylvania (except maybe not Pittsburgh). Probably MSG (NYC). Probably Homdel, NJ. And probably some others.
Also, people have been asking me if I'm feeling any better lately.
Answer? Yes and no. Yes because of a few things that I won't mention, hahaha. No because lately, I've been feeling like one of my closest friends replaced me. Don't ask who, I won't tell you. Also no because I'm stressing out a lot about some things. But I'll get over it, and I appreciate everyone's concern.
Wow, this blog is really boring so far, eh?
Blah, I'm tired. I give up.
Thank you for reading.
I shall do my best to bore you again soon ;]
Haha, just kidding. I'll be more entertaining next time, I promise
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
I'll try to keep this a regular occurrence.
Soooo, let's see here.
Some people have been asking me what shows on the Burning Up Tour I'll be going to.
Answer? I'm not sure yet. Definitely the ones in Pennsylvania (except maybe not Pittsburgh). Probably MSG (NYC). Probably Homdel, NJ. And probably some others.
Also, people have been asking me if I'm feeling any better lately.
Answer? Yes and no. Yes because of a few things that I won't mention, hahaha. No because lately, I've been feeling like one of my closest friends replaced me. Don't ask who, I won't tell you. Also no because I'm stressing out a lot about some things. But I'll get over it, and I appreciate everyone's concern.
Wow, this blog is really boring so far, eh?
Blah, I'm tired. I give up.
Thank you for reading.
I shall do my best to bore you again soon ;]
Haha, just kidding. I'll be more entertaining next time, I promise
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
Friday, March 14, 2008
Reminisce on memories, 'cause I'm gone, so gone.
So I realize this blog might make me sound selfish, annoying, or who knows what else.
But at this point, I don't care.
Because here's the thing.
I'm done.
I'm done being a good friend to people and not having them be the same.
I'm done trying to please people.
I'm done doing nice things for people, things they don't deserve, and not getting anything in return, not even a thank you.
But most of all?
I'm done pretending like I'm okay. Like everything's okay.
Because the truth is...I'm not okay.
In fact, I'm far from okay.
These past few weeks have been rough, but in the past few days, everything has been hitting me at once.
I really can't deal with it anymore.
I've tried to put on a happy face and act like everything is okay.
But it's not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm falling apart, I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
In fact, I'm surprised I can even type this stuff out with how much my head is spinning.
So here's the deal...
From now on, if you want to be my friend, you have to act like a friend.
If you don't...well then, you're not my friend anymore.
It's about time I started making some positive changes in my life.
Even if that means I have to stop being friends with the people I love.
I've given people chance after chance.
I can't do it anymore.
Second chances are enough.
Once you're on your 20th, you don't deserve any more.
So for now, I'm done.
Yesterday during the Jonas concert, there were two times I felt like bawling my eyes out.
1. Take a Breath
2. Nick's speech during 'A Little Bit Longer', along with the song.
My head is spinning so much I can't even process any thoughts in my head.
So I know this blog doesn't really have an end.
I guess that's because I don't even know the ending....
And I guess once I can actually figure out what's going on, I'll write a second part to this.
But for now.
I'm done.
I'm gone.
And if you want me in your life...
Figure out a way to keep me there.
But at this point, I don't care.
Because here's the thing.
I'm done.
I'm done being a good friend to people and not having them be the same.
I'm done trying to please people.
I'm done doing nice things for people, things they don't deserve, and not getting anything in return, not even a thank you.
But most of all?
I'm done pretending like I'm okay. Like everything's okay.
Because the truth is...I'm not okay.
In fact, I'm far from okay.
These past few weeks have been rough, but in the past few days, everything has been hitting me at once.
I really can't deal with it anymore.
I've tried to put on a happy face and act like everything is okay.
But it's not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm falling apart, I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
In fact, I'm surprised I can even type this stuff out with how much my head is spinning.
So here's the deal...
From now on, if you want to be my friend, you have to act like a friend.
If you don't...well then, you're not my friend anymore.
It's about time I started making some positive changes in my life.
Even if that means I have to stop being friends with the people I love.
I've given people chance after chance.
I can't do it anymore.
Second chances are enough.
Once you're on your 20th, you don't deserve any more.
So for now, I'm done.
Yesterday during the Jonas concert, there were two times I felt like bawling my eyes out.
1. Take a Breath
2. Nick's speech during 'A Little Bit Longer', along with the song.
My head is spinning so much I can't even process any thoughts in my head.
So I know this blog doesn't really have an end.
I guess that's because I don't even know the ending....
And I guess once I can actually figure out what's going on, I'll write a second part to this.
But for now.
I'm done.
I'm gone.
And if you want me in your life...
Figure out a way to keep me there.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
This One Goes Out to You...
To anyone who has ever hurt me, lied to me, betrayed me, upset me, ditched me, or made my life a living you know what. All because I may have made a mistake or two in my past.
Some people never know when they make a mistake.
Some people always know.
There comes a time, sooner or later, when you have to ask yourself, "Did I make a mistake? Should I have done that? Can I really live with what I just did?", and sometimes, when you really cross the line, you reach the point of no return. The point where no matter how hard you try to fix things, you won't be forgiven.
There are only a few ways to be 100% positive of who your true friends are.
One of those is shown when you make a mistake. When someone can still trust you, talk to you, love and respect you, even after making a mistake that you and other people would hate you for, that's when you know you've hit the jackpot.
Then there's the situation where it may take a while, but sometimes there are a few people who will come back to you after a huge mistake like that. Those are the times when you can look in the mirror and say, "They're still here for me when no one else is and when no one should be. But why?" The answer is simple.
They're a true, honest, loyal, forgiving friend.
And they know you'd do the same for them.
But what do you do when you're the loyal friend, who forgives your so-called best friend for something that may have left you in a pretty dark place for weeks, months, even years?
There's only one thing to do.
Let them go.
When they realize the bad things you've done are nothing compared to what they've done, they'll come back to you.
But they don't realize that when you let them go, they lost their chance to ever be forgiven, to ever be your friend again.
They lost their chance of having one person who truly loved them like family.
They lost a part of their life they could have had if they had just accepted the mistakes you had made.
They lost you.
I've always been the kind of person to own up to my mistakes. But I've lost some friends who I thought would always be there simply because they didn't forgive me. They didn't give me a second chance.
Life is full of second chances, some given, some received. When someone gets a second chance, they either take it and slack off, or they use it to fix why they needed one in the first place.
I've learned a lot in the past two years about friends and second chances.
For example, you can't live life watching from the outside, only getting involved when it's for your benefit.
You have to take second chances, give second chances, forgive, but not necessarily forget.
You have to live your life not just for you, but for others, because without them, where would you truly be?
No one can shape their entire life on their own. It takes ups and downs, new friends, old friends, ex-friends, best friends, and everything in between to shape your life.
Every broken promise, every broken heart, every lie you hear - it all changes your life.
For better or for worse.
But how you let it change you is up to you.
Who do you really want to be?
Because no one can answer that question or change the answer except for you.
"People change and promises are broken," but how you live your life is up to one person.
You.
Some people never know when they make a mistake.
Some people always know.
There comes a time, sooner or later, when you have to ask yourself, "Did I make a mistake? Should I have done that? Can I really live with what I just did?", and sometimes, when you really cross the line, you reach the point of no return. The point where no matter how hard you try to fix things, you won't be forgiven.
There are only a few ways to be 100% positive of who your true friends are.
One of those is shown when you make a mistake. When someone can still trust you, talk to you, love and respect you, even after making a mistake that you and other people would hate you for, that's when you know you've hit the jackpot.
Then there's the situation where it may take a while, but sometimes there are a few people who will come back to you after a huge mistake like that. Those are the times when you can look in the mirror and say, "They're still here for me when no one else is and when no one should be. But why?" The answer is simple.
They're a true, honest, loyal, forgiving friend.
And they know you'd do the same for them.
But what do you do when you're the loyal friend, who forgives your so-called best friend for something that may have left you in a pretty dark place for weeks, months, even years?
There's only one thing to do.
Let them go.
When they realize the bad things you've done are nothing compared to what they've done, they'll come back to you.
But they don't realize that when you let them go, they lost their chance to ever be forgiven, to ever be your friend again.
They lost their chance of having one person who truly loved them like family.
They lost a part of their life they could have had if they had just accepted the mistakes you had made.
They lost you.
I've always been the kind of person to own up to my mistakes. But I've lost some friends who I thought would always be there simply because they didn't forgive me. They didn't give me a second chance.
Life is full of second chances, some given, some received. When someone gets a second chance, they either take it and slack off, or they use it to fix why they needed one in the first place.
I've learned a lot in the past two years about friends and second chances.
For example, you can't live life watching from the outside, only getting involved when it's for your benefit.
You have to take second chances, give second chances, forgive, but not necessarily forget.
You have to live your life not just for you, but for others, because without them, where would you truly be?
No one can shape their entire life on their own. It takes ups and downs, new friends, old friends, ex-friends, best friends, and everything in between to shape your life.
Every broken promise, every broken heart, every lie you hear - it all changes your life.
For better or for worse.
But how you let it change you is up to you.
Who do you really want to be?
Because no one can answer that question or change the answer except for you.
"People change and promises are broken," but how you live your life is up to one person.
You.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Where have YOU been?? WHERE HAVE I BEEN?!
I've been M-I-A.
And I've also been a combination of insomniatic (thanks for the new word, Aly & AJ) and nocturnal.
Yesterday at about 6 a.m. when I was still awake watching Gilmore Girls, I had a little conversation with myself (I get a little loopy when I get no sleep). It went something like the following:
"Wow, I think I'm nocturnal. I'm like an owl. Like..a night owl. Oh God, did I just now realize the true meaning of night owl? Or have I always known this full meaning, just never really thought about it? Is it really necessary to call it a night owl? I mean, everyone knows owls are usually only awake at night. So isn't the term 'night owl' a little redundant? OH MY GOD WHY IS KIRK SLEEPING IN A BOX?!"
Yeah, I have really random thought processes at night (or the morning I guess) that get interrupted when I'm watching TV shows on DVD.
Okay, anyways, my head is currently spinning due to my lack of sleep, but let me try to catch everyone up on my life.
As I'm sure (well, at least I hope, haha) my friends have noticed, I haven't really talked to anyone in the past few weeks.
I AM ALIVE, DON'T WORRY! This was a cause of concern for the crasian a little while ago.
Don't worry, I'm fine. I just haven't really gotten online that much lately.
BUT if my friends really want to talk to me, they have my phone number, so they can send me a text if they wanna talk. Hopefully no one is trying to text my Verizon phone and getting mad at me for not responding. Here's why I haven't responded:
My Verizon phone doesn't let me make any phone calls. Well, it does, but they don't go through. It kinda just sits there and says "calling" for like...ever.
Also, I get voicemails and text messagse days after they're sent. If someone calls me, it never shows the call. It never even shows I missed a call a few days later. It's like my phone doesn't exist for me but it does for other people.
SO the point is, if you want to get in touch with me when I'm not on AIM, hit up my Sidekick if you have the number.
But speaking of the above technological issue (wow, am I old now?), my computer has also decided to start dying on me.
My Macbook is STILL broken, so I can't use that.
And well, this computer I'm on now isn't exactly that great anymore.
It has a giant crack in the screen (thanks to my mom dropping the computer and then telling me only when I mentioned the crack, haha).
Also, the 'q' key is halfway off. I have to press it very awkwardly when I type. Sometimes I even have to slam it down really hard. I guess it's a good thing I don't use too many words with the letter 'q' in them.
Now this is getting boring and I'm rambling.
The point of this blog is...
YES I AM ALIVE =) And I'm doing pretty good.
Except for crappy friends who don't know they're crappy friends.
But whatever, I'm just forgetting about them.
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I'll be super busy, so if you text me, it might take me a while to respond. Saturday I'm going to the Honor Society show at the Stone Pony (at least I think I am, haha). Sunday and Monday I'll be in New York City. Sunday I'm just chilling for the day in the city, and then Monday is my internship. =) I'm pretty excited.
Okay, well now I'm gonna go watch an episode or two of Ugly Betty if I can manage to stay awake.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
And I've also been a combination of insomniatic (thanks for the new word, Aly & AJ) and nocturnal.
Yesterday at about 6 a.m. when I was still awake watching Gilmore Girls, I had a little conversation with myself (I get a little loopy when I get no sleep). It went something like the following:
"Wow, I think I'm nocturnal. I'm like an owl. Like..a night owl. Oh God, did I just now realize the true meaning of night owl? Or have I always known this full meaning, just never really thought about it? Is it really necessary to call it a night owl? I mean, everyone knows owls are usually only awake at night. So isn't the term 'night owl' a little redundant? OH MY GOD WHY IS KIRK SLEEPING IN A BOX?!"
Yeah, I have really random thought processes at night (or the morning I guess) that get interrupted when I'm watching TV shows on DVD.
Okay, anyways, my head is currently spinning due to my lack of sleep, but let me try to catch everyone up on my life.
As I'm sure (well, at least I hope, haha) my friends have noticed, I haven't really talked to anyone in the past few weeks.
I AM ALIVE, DON'T WORRY! This was a cause of concern for the crasian a little while ago.
Don't worry, I'm fine. I just haven't really gotten online that much lately.
BUT if my friends really want to talk to me, they have my phone number, so they can send me a text if they wanna talk. Hopefully no one is trying to text my Verizon phone and getting mad at me for not responding. Here's why I haven't responded:
My Verizon phone doesn't let me make any phone calls. Well, it does, but they don't go through. It kinda just sits there and says "calling" for like...ever.
Also, I get voicemails and text messagse days after they're sent. If someone calls me, it never shows the call. It never even shows I missed a call a few days later. It's like my phone doesn't exist for me but it does for other people.
SO the point is, if you want to get in touch with me when I'm not on AIM, hit up my Sidekick if you have the number.
But speaking of the above technological issue (wow, am I old now?), my computer has also decided to start dying on me.
My Macbook is STILL broken, so I can't use that.
And well, this computer I'm on now isn't exactly that great anymore.
It has a giant crack in the screen (thanks to my mom dropping the computer and then telling me only when I mentioned the crack, haha).
Also, the 'q' key is halfway off. I have to press it very awkwardly when I type. Sometimes I even have to slam it down really hard. I guess it's a good thing I don't use too many words with the letter 'q' in them.
Now this is getting boring and I'm rambling.
The point of this blog is...
YES I AM ALIVE =) And I'm doing pretty good.
Except for crappy friends who don't know they're crappy friends.
But whatever, I'm just forgetting about them.
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I'll be super busy, so if you text me, it might take me a while to respond. Saturday I'm going to the Honor Society show at the Stone Pony (at least I think I am, haha). Sunday and Monday I'll be in New York City. Sunday I'm just chilling for the day in the city, and then Monday is my internship. =) I'm pretty excited.
Okay, well now I'm gonna go watch an episode or two of Ugly Betty if I can manage to stay awake.
PEACE, LOVE, AND COCOAPUFFS
<3
mm
Monday, December 31, 2007
Hold On Tight, It's a Rollercoaster Ride.
Most Memorable Moments of 2007
January – First hugs of the year from some pretty cool people; Met Morgan, Brandi, and Ana on the 12th; 12th-14th = some of the best and worst few days of my life; Hanging out for at least 6 hours straight from the 13th-14th (till 4 a.m.) with Morgan, Brandi, Ana, Lisa, Chris, Larry, and the cool kid; Getting stared at by that kid; SO-M interview; "Mamamameagan!" with a hug from behind.
February – Jordan Pruitt CD Release Party with Chris K, Chris F, and Larry; Elk facts and the twilight zone in Kentucky with Chris; Virginia for Jonas with some of my favorite people; Getting stuck at the airport with Becky on the way home; Met Dana.
March – Compliments and funny moments with that kid; Lots of concerts; Good times and definitely some bad times.
April – Florida for Jonas; Not too much else.
May – Bamboozle; Not too much else.
June – Amazing Jonas shows; Texas for Jonas; Fun moments at the hotel in San Antonio; Silly string fights and evil stares; Started talking to Nicole; Made a decision.
July – Compliments from a different kid; Road trips; Press conference; Tons of Jonas concerts; Got to see Nicole for 2 seconds; The phone call.
August – CD release week with the best friends; Gramercy Park Hotel; Met Joey.
September – Nothing too memorable.
October – Again, nothing too memorable.
November – Birthday; North Carolina; Saw the boys in NC (it had been a while).
December – Spent an INCREDIBLE week with Nicole; More Hannah/Miley/Jonas shows; Saw the boys in Philly and Newark; Some memorable moments; Had some good times and bad; Met Perez Hilton; Jingle Ball; and more.
2007 was a rollercoaster year. I had my ups and my downs, but I learned who my true friends are, who I could trust, and who I should never talk to again. It was an amazing year with some bad moments, but overall, I wouldn't change a thing.
2008 will be the year that changes my life. I can feel it. Everything seems to be falling into place. I know I'm going to have some amazing times. Nothing can be much worse than the bad times I had in 2007.
Here's to the memories.
Here's to the good times and the bad.
Here's to you, 2007.
2008, HERE WE COME!
And congrats to Jonas going platinum! Such a change from one year ago!! From 'Mother May I?' in a hotel courtyard to 'Rockin New Year's Eve', they've come so far and I am so proud!
That's all for 2007.
<3
mm
January – First hugs of the year from some pretty cool people; Met Morgan, Brandi, and Ana on the 12th; 12th-14th = some of the best and worst few days of my life; Hanging out for at least 6 hours straight from the 13th-14th (till 4 a.m.) with Morgan, Brandi, Ana, Lisa, Chris, Larry, and the cool kid; Getting stared at by that kid; SO-M interview; "Mamamameagan!" with a hug from behind.
February – Jordan Pruitt CD Release Party with Chris K, Chris F, and Larry; Elk facts and the twilight zone in Kentucky with Chris; Virginia for Jonas with some of my favorite people; Getting stuck at the airport with Becky on the way home; Met Dana.
March – Compliments and funny moments with that kid; Lots of concerts; Good times and definitely some bad times.
April – Florida for Jonas; Not too much else.
May – Bamboozle; Not too much else.
June – Amazing Jonas shows; Texas for Jonas; Fun moments at the hotel in San Antonio; Silly string fights and evil stares; Started talking to Nicole; Made a decision.
July – Compliments from a different kid; Road trips; Press conference; Tons of Jonas concerts; Got to see Nicole for 2 seconds; The phone call.
August – CD release week with the best friends; Gramercy Park Hotel; Met Joey.
September – Nothing too memorable.
October – Again, nothing too memorable.
November – Birthday; North Carolina; Saw the boys in NC (it had been a while).
December – Spent an INCREDIBLE week with Nicole; More Hannah/Miley/Jonas shows; Saw the boys in Philly and Newark; Some memorable moments; Had some good times and bad; Met Perez Hilton; Jingle Ball; and more.
2007 was a rollercoaster year. I had my ups and my downs, but I learned who my true friends are, who I could trust, and who I should never talk to again. It was an amazing year with some bad moments, but overall, I wouldn't change a thing.
2008 will be the year that changes my life. I can feel it. Everything seems to be falling into place. I know I'm going to have some amazing times. Nothing can be much worse than the bad times I had in 2007.
Here's to the memories.
Here's to the good times and the bad.
Here's to you, 2007.
2008, HERE WE COME!
And congrats to Jonas going platinum! Such a change from one year ago!! From 'Mother May I?' in a hotel courtyard to 'Rockin New Year's Eve', they've come so far and I am so proud!
That's all for 2007.
<3
mm
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Celery Salt
I wanted to write some sort of clever blog.
I'd be able to do that if I actually felt clever.
But I don't.
Tomorrow it's time for me to fly (no pun intended. Well, maybe it was) to Georgia! I'll be there till Wednesday to hang out with my best friends and see those famous kids. I think their name is los hermanos de Jonas? Something like that.
Of course, when Jose Pagina is going to be here along with Morgan, I'll be in Massachusetts. PLAN BETTER, PAGINA! I'm hoping I'll be able to see them at some point while they're here. I think them being up here and me not seeing them would just flat out suck.
I don't know what to say now.
So I'll leave you with some advice from someone's mother.
Life is full of uppies and downies. You might run into some spiders or maybe even some cockroaches, but at the end of the day, you're either going to reach the top of the tree or keep climbing.
I hope to keep climbing for a while. I hate those damn spiders. Haven't met any cockroaches yet.
<3
mm
I'd be able to do that if I actually felt clever.
But I don't.
Tomorrow it's time for me to fly (no pun intended. Well, maybe it was) to Georgia! I'll be there till Wednesday to hang out with my best friends and see those famous kids. I think their name is los hermanos de Jonas? Something like that.
Of course, when Jose Pagina is going to be here along with Morgan, I'll be in Massachusetts. PLAN BETTER, PAGINA! I'm hoping I'll be able to see them at some point while they're here. I think them being up here and me not seeing them would just flat out suck.
I don't know what to say now.
So I'll leave you with some advice from someone's mother.
Life is full of uppies and downies. You might run into some spiders or maybe even some cockroaches, but at the end of the day, you're either going to reach the top of the tree or keep climbing.
I hope to keep climbing for a while. I hate those damn spiders. Haven't met any cockroaches yet.
<3
mm
Monday, November 5, 2007
Why Do I Feel This Way?
I haven't felt happy at all lately. If I do feel happy, it only lasts a few hours at most, then something happens to make me feel upset all over again.
I feel like my friends are changing way too much. I'm not saying they're changing as people (although some are), but I'm saying I'm losing some friends I never thought I'd lose, and getting some back I never thought I'd get back.
2007 was supposed to be a big year. It has been, I've met some awesome people and I'm having some amazing opportunities arise. But feeling like your only friends are your best friends is a sucky feeling. It makes even the happiest moments feel like nothing.
Lately I've been feeling extremely left out. Like I do so much for other people and get nothing in return, not even a thank you. People think the things they do for me is payment enough. I'm not a selfish person, but it'd be nice to have someone help me out sometimes. At least I know how to take care of myself. That's something a lot of people I know can't say.
I miss the way my friends used to act. I miss talking to my friends all the time. It's not like they're any busier than they have been in the past when we used to talk a lot.
I'm sick of people telling other people what I say and then twisting my words around and taking it out of context. I'm tired of not knowing who I can trust. I'm over people thinking they know everything. Reality check: YOU DON'T KNOW A THING!
Sometimes I feel like not going on the internet (including AIM) for a month. So much changes in the two days I sometimes go without it. Seeing it after a month would be pretty interesting. And then I'd know who my true friends were. Texting would still be there. So would phone calls. If they really wanted to talk to me, they could.
Some people think I've changed. Well, I have. As you grow up, you have to change. You can't sit around waiting for things to change for you. You have to change in order to get what you want sometimes. I'm not going to go around following a band for the rest of my life. It's not what I want to do with my life. And if I do anything requiring me to do that, it's going to be with a steady income that I can life on comfortably. I don't mean having enough money for food and some clothes. I mean being able to buy what I want, when I want.
Just because I stick up for myself and my friends when people say something and just because I know the truth, people think I'm a bitch. I can guarantee you something. If you are a bitch to me or treat me or my friends like crap, you get the same treatment. Remember in elementary school, teachers would say "treat others how you want to be treated"? Remember how none of us listened? Well, it's time to start listening, because it's true. If you want people to treat you well, treat them well.
I've lost respect for so many people. Those people who say "I hate when people talk behind other people's backs" but they do that themselves. Those people who think they own the world and can pick their favorites. You can't get through life by doing that. The day is going to come when someone needs something. Someone's life could be on the line. Just because they're not one of your favorites, does that mean you won't save them?
Things have changed. About two weeks ago, I heard from someone I hadn't really spoken to since March. We still don't talk much, but I still talk to that person more than I talk to some of my friends I've been talking to this entire time.
I like where my life is heading. I have a future. I can't say that for others.
I can't really trust anyone anymore. Even the people who think I can trust them, I can't trust. The only people who I can trust with anything, and I mean ANYTHING, are Morgan, Nicole, and Joey. If they told anyone anything I said, they'd tell each other. They wouldn't go around telling people. I could share with them my deepest secrets, but I know they wouldn't go around blabbing. Even if we suddenly stopped being friends, I know they'd still keep things to themselves. I know for a fact some of my old friends aren't like that.
Does it suck knowing I won't see some people ever again? Of course. People take that the wrong way though and think I'm being selfish. For example, the Jonas Brothers. They've changed my life and the lives of others. But there are those people who understand what I mean. Like Nicole, for example. Here's some stuff she said on AIM.
Nicole: the fact is they're a band.
Nicole: but they're people who came into our lives
Nicole: and formed a personal relationship with each of us
Nicole: and because of that we cant let go
Nicole: and that was their first mistake
Nicole: we were spoiled from the start
Nicole: they wanted to present themselves as friends, people just like us, in the beginning
Nicole: you can't just rip that away
Nicole: and suddenly say "well you had your chance you can never see them again"
Nicole: it's like any other.
Nicole: its like if you and i were friends for a really long time
Nicole: and then one day
Nicole: randomly
Nicole: someone said
Nicole: "nicole and meagan you can never talk to each other again. you had your chance to be friends. you can stand in the same room but you're not allowed to speak."
Nicole: its not very fair and its pretty much emotional abuse
We have come to terms with the fact that it's over and done, but to see them one last time and tell them how proud we are would be amazing. We don't ask for much and we don't use people. We just want them to know we're proud and we still love them.
There is so much more I could say, but I can't comprehend everything that is running through my head. But that stuff I've said has been with me for a while and I needed to get it off my chest.
Hate me for it if you want, but it's how I feel.
Lately I've been feeling depressed, annoyed, angry, stressed, and now to top it all off, I'm catching a cold.
Don't get me wrong, I know I'm one of the luckiest people in the world, and I'm so grateful for everything that has happened and is happening to me.
I just wish all this drama would end.
I need it to be later in this month, and December/January. The stuff planned should cheer me up quite a bit.
That's all.
<33
mm
I feel like my friends are changing way too much. I'm not saying they're changing as people (although some are), but I'm saying I'm losing some friends I never thought I'd lose, and getting some back I never thought I'd get back.
2007 was supposed to be a big year. It has been, I've met some awesome people and I'm having some amazing opportunities arise. But feeling like your only friends are your best friends is a sucky feeling. It makes even the happiest moments feel like nothing.
Lately I've been feeling extremely left out. Like I do so much for other people and get nothing in return, not even a thank you. People think the things they do for me is payment enough. I'm not a selfish person, but it'd be nice to have someone help me out sometimes. At least I know how to take care of myself. That's something a lot of people I know can't say.
I miss the way my friends used to act. I miss talking to my friends all the time. It's not like they're any busier than they have been in the past when we used to talk a lot.
I'm sick of people telling other people what I say and then twisting my words around and taking it out of context. I'm tired of not knowing who I can trust. I'm over people thinking they know everything. Reality check: YOU DON'T KNOW A THING!
Sometimes I feel like not going on the internet (including AIM) for a month. So much changes in the two days I sometimes go without it. Seeing it after a month would be pretty interesting. And then I'd know who my true friends were. Texting would still be there. So would phone calls. If they really wanted to talk to me, they could.
Some people think I've changed. Well, I have. As you grow up, you have to change. You can't sit around waiting for things to change for you. You have to change in order to get what you want sometimes. I'm not going to go around following a band for the rest of my life. It's not what I want to do with my life. And if I do anything requiring me to do that, it's going to be with a steady income that I can life on comfortably. I don't mean having enough money for food and some clothes. I mean being able to buy what I want, when I want.
Just because I stick up for myself and my friends when people say something and just because I know the truth, people think I'm a bitch. I can guarantee you something. If you are a bitch to me or treat me or my friends like crap, you get the same treatment. Remember in elementary school, teachers would say "treat others how you want to be treated"? Remember how none of us listened? Well, it's time to start listening, because it's true. If you want people to treat you well, treat them well.
I've lost respect for so many people. Those people who say "I hate when people talk behind other people's backs" but they do that themselves. Those people who think they own the world and can pick their favorites. You can't get through life by doing that. The day is going to come when someone needs something. Someone's life could be on the line. Just because they're not one of your favorites, does that mean you won't save them?
Things have changed. About two weeks ago, I heard from someone I hadn't really spoken to since March. We still don't talk much, but I still talk to that person more than I talk to some of my friends I've been talking to this entire time.
I like where my life is heading. I have a future. I can't say that for others.
I can't really trust anyone anymore. Even the people who think I can trust them, I can't trust. The only people who I can trust with anything, and I mean ANYTHING, are Morgan, Nicole, and Joey. If they told anyone anything I said, they'd tell each other. They wouldn't go around telling people. I could share with them my deepest secrets, but I know they wouldn't go around blabbing. Even if we suddenly stopped being friends, I know they'd still keep things to themselves. I know for a fact some of my old friends aren't like that.
Does it suck knowing I won't see some people ever again? Of course. People take that the wrong way though and think I'm being selfish. For example, the Jonas Brothers. They've changed my life and the lives of others. But there are those people who understand what I mean. Like Nicole, for example. Here's some stuff she said on AIM.
Nicole: the fact is they're a band.
Nicole: but they're people who came into our lives
Nicole: and formed a personal relationship with each of us
Nicole: and because of that we cant let go
Nicole: and that was their first mistake
Nicole: we were spoiled from the start
Nicole: they wanted to present themselves as friends, people just like us, in the beginning
Nicole: you can't just rip that away
Nicole: and suddenly say "well you had your chance you can never see them again"
Nicole: it's like any other.
Nicole: its like if you and i were friends for a really long time
Nicole: and then one day
Nicole: randomly
Nicole: someone said
Nicole: "nicole and meagan you can never talk to each other again. you had your chance to be friends. you can stand in the same room but you're not allowed to speak."
Nicole: its not very fair and its pretty much emotional abuse
We have come to terms with the fact that it's over and done, but to see them one last time and tell them how proud we are would be amazing. We don't ask for much and we don't use people. We just want them to know we're proud and we still love them.
There is so much more I could say, but I can't comprehend everything that is running through my head. But that stuff I've said has been with me for a while and I needed to get it off my chest.
Hate me for it if you want, but it's how I feel.
Lately I've been feeling depressed, annoyed, angry, stressed, and now to top it all off, I'm catching a cold.
Don't get me wrong, I know I'm one of the luckiest people in the world, and I'm so grateful for everything that has happened and is happening to me.
I just wish all this drama would end.
I need it to be later in this month, and December/January. The stuff planned should cheer me up quite a bit.
That's all.
<33
mm
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
WOW!
First off, I never update this thing anymore...pretty sad.
Second, congrats to Jonas on debuting at #5 on the charts!!!
At their show last night, I kept having flashbacks to last year. It's amazing how far they've come. When they announced that they would be debuting at #5, I literally wanted to cry. I'm so proud of them and they deserve it so much. They've worked so hard.
I think it's safe to say that Joe will be having a good 18th birthday today : ) Happy birthday Joe!
Well, I'm off to attempt to find tickets for tomorrow's show....
<33
mm
Second, congrats to Jonas on debuting at #5 on the charts!!!
At their show last night, I kept having flashbacks to last year. It's amazing how far they've come. When they announced that they would be debuting at #5, I literally wanted to cry. I'm so proud of them and they deserve it so much. They've worked so hard.
I think it's safe to say that Joe will be having a good 18th birthday today : ) Happy birthday Joe!
Well, I'm off to attempt to find tickets for tomorrow's show....
<33
mm
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Hello, Blogspot...It's been a long time
I haven't posted in quite a while, so I figured I'd post a little something.
I'm at an amazing point in my life right now, and knowing who my real friends are is a great feeling.
The Tools will basically pone your life, so if you haven't added us yet, you should get on that:
http://www.myspace.com/thetoolspace
In about 6 days, Becky and I reunite and will be together until the 9th or 10th. I'm so excited! We're gonna work on our music and what not and get some up on the MySpace.
Also, Lisa is moving here soon! I'm really excited about that, too! We're gonna go see Rooney on the 18th of August in Maryland and I may be interviewing them, so I'm kind of freaking out. Rooney owns my heart, haha!
I get to see Morgan and spend a while with her too! I'm psyched for her to come up here!
CD release will be amazing. The CD is awesome, both the songs, and the whole CDVU+ thing. And Amelia will be there who I haven't seen since December. YAY!
On a low note, some of my "friends" are proving to not really be such great friends. But on a brighter note, some of my friends are proving to be amazing friends and I am so blessed to have them!!
Well, just a boring little update on my life.
I'm gonna go eat some of my almost 25 year old sister's Tinkerbell birthday cake!!
<33
mm
I'm at an amazing point in my life right now, and knowing who my real friends are is a great feeling.
The Tools will basically pone your life, so if you haven't added us yet, you should get on that:
http://www.myspace.com/thetoolspace
In about 6 days, Becky and I reunite and will be together until the 9th or 10th. I'm so excited! We're gonna work on our music and what not and get some up on the MySpace.
Also, Lisa is moving here soon! I'm really excited about that, too! We're gonna go see Rooney on the 18th of August in Maryland and I may be interviewing them, so I'm kind of freaking out. Rooney owns my heart, haha!
I get to see Morgan and spend a while with her too! I'm psyched for her to come up here!
CD release will be amazing. The CD is awesome, both the songs, and the whole CDVU+ thing. And Amelia will be there who I haven't seen since December. YAY!
On a low note, some of my "friends" are proving to not really be such great friends. But on a brighter note, some of my friends are proving to be amazing friends and I am so blessed to have them!!
Well, just a boring little update on my life.
I'm gonna go eat some of my almost 25 year old sister's Tinkerbell birthday cake!!
<33
mm
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Let's Get It Started!
My summer officially started on Sunday. It was pretty amazing, I must say. Now, just to keep everyone updated (since MySpace won't let me add any more dates to my calendar) here are the shows I will or may be going to (all Jonas right now):
6/20 Galveston, TX
6/21 San Antonio, TX
6/22 Rowlett, TX
6/23 Winter Haven, FL
6/24 Hershey, PA
6/25 Lodi, NJ
7/2 Cleveland, OH
7/5 Jackson, NJ
7/6 Cohassett, MA
7/7 Westbury, NY
7/9 Myrtle Beach, SC
7/11 Savannah, GA
7/12 Atlanta, GA
7/13 Bessemer, AL
7/14 Baton Rouge, LA
7/15 Gurnee, IL
7/17 Tempe, AZ - MAYBE
7/19 San Rosa, CA - MAYBE
7/21 Stillwater, MN
7/22 Stillwater, MN
7/24 Tulsa, OK - MAYBE
7/26 El Paso, TX - MAYBE
7/28 Readington, NJ - OR - Concert For A Cure in Minneapolis, MN
7/29 Philadelphia, PA
8/2 Baltimore. MD
8/4 Uncasville, CT
8/5 Atlantic City, NJ
8/6 New York, NY
8/7 New York, NY
8/9 Springfield, MA
8/13 Indianapolis, IN - PROBABLY
8/17 Altamont, NY
8/23 Ocean Grove, NJ
9/1 Valdosta, GA - PROBABLY
10/7 Mechanicsville, VA - PROBABLY
10/8 Dallas, TX - MAYBE
10/9 Perris, CA - MAYBE
10/14 Perry, GA - PROBABLY
10/21 Columbia, SC - PROBABLY
So, if you see me at any shows, make sure you say hi!!
Official start of summer 2006
Official start of summer 2007
<33
mm
6/20 Galveston, TX
6/21 San Antonio, TX
6/22 Rowlett, TX
6/23 Winter Haven, FL
6/24 Hershey, PA
6/25 Lodi, NJ
7/2 Cleveland, OH
7/5 Jackson, NJ
7/6 Cohassett, MA
7/7 Westbury, NY
7/9 Myrtle Beach, SC
7/11 Savannah, GA
7/12 Atlanta, GA
7/13 Bessemer, AL
7/14 Baton Rouge, LA
7/15 Gurnee, IL
7/17 Tempe, AZ - MAYBE
7/19 San Rosa, CA - MAYBE
7/21 Stillwater, MN
7/22 Stillwater, MN
7/24 Tulsa, OK - MAYBE
7/26 El Paso, TX - MAYBE
7/28 Readington, NJ - OR - Concert For A Cure in Minneapolis, MN
7/29 Philadelphia, PA
8/2 Baltimore. MD
8/4 Uncasville, CT
8/5 Atlantic City, NJ
8/6 New York, NY
8/7 New York, NY
8/9 Springfield, MA
8/13 Indianapolis, IN - PROBABLY
8/17 Altamont, NY
8/23 Ocean Grove, NJ
9/1 Valdosta, GA - PROBABLY
10/7 Mechanicsville, VA - PROBABLY
10/8 Dallas, TX - MAYBE
10/9 Perris, CA - MAYBE
10/14 Perry, GA - PROBABLY
10/21 Columbia, SC - PROBABLY
So, if you see me at any shows, make sure you say hi!!
Official start of summer 2006
Official start of summer 2007
<33
mm
Sunday, May 27, 2007
10 MORE Things I Hate (or Love) About You
Stolen from Ryan...I posted this already on my MySpace, but wanted to write about more people so I'm posting it again!
You chose 10 people, and tell how you feel about them. if youre easily offended, dont read this. remember not to assume it is you.
1. we used to hang out a lot and we always had so much fun. i really miss hanging out with you and i feel like i barely know what's going on in your life anymore. i hope we can start hanging out again. you are an awesome person!!
2. you are an amazing guesser! haha...but seriously you are an amazing person and an amazing friend. i miss you all the time since i barely ever see you...i hope i see you soon and we can get to know each other better!!
3. cheesecake and toilets are some of our favorite things, and you are one of my favorite people. i love our phone conversations and whenever we hang out we have a blast. so many laughs and random moments. i can't wait for more!!
4. there always seems to be stupid people and creepy lizard things, but we still remain friends and i love it, haha!! you are amazing and i hope to get to know you more!!
5. whenever i'd see you, we'd talk a lot. now we barely talk and that sucks. i hope we can get back to that place and become friends, but right now that seems impossible for a few reasons...but i still love you to death
6. you call me schmexy even though i'm not. you are amazing even though you can't admit it. and theres not much else to say except that i love you and you are such a good friend! make sure theres room for me to crash in your new apartment in jersey! hahah
7. dunkin donuts and pacts always remind me of how lucky i am to have you in my life. you are amazing and i love you to death!!
8. i knew you were capable of a lot of bad stuff, but i had no idea just how bad. you were extremely lucky and took it all for granted, saying things no one should ever say. i hope you get your karma soon.
9. you barely know my name, but you always make me laugh. you're an awesome person and i hope i can get to know you better!!
10. theres a lot of people i want to write this about, so this applies to all of them. thank you for being such good friends to me and i love you all to death. : )
Well, there you have it. Do you know which one you are? : )
P-O-N-E-D
<33
mm
You chose 10 people, and tell how you feel about them. if youre easily offended, dont read this. remember not to assume it is you.
1. we used to hang out a lot and we always had so much fun. i really miss hanging out with you and i feel like i barely know what's going on in your life anymore. i hope we can start hanging out again. you are an awesome person!!
2. you are an amazing guesser! haha...but seriously you are an amazing person and an amazing friend. i miss you all the time since i barely ever see you...i hope i see you soon and we can get to know each other better!!
3. cheesecake and toilets are some of our favorite things, and you are one of my favorite people. i love our phone conversations and whenever we hang out we have a blast. so many laughs and random moments. i can't wait for more!!
4. there always seems to be stupid people and creepy lizard things, but we still remain friends and i love it, haha!! you are amazing and i hope to get to know you more!!
5. whenever i'd see you, we'd talk a lot. now we barely talk and that sucks. i hope we can get back to that place and become friends, but right now that seems impossible for a few reasons...but i still love you to death
6. you call me schmexy even though i'm not. you are amazing even though you can't admit it. and theres not much else to say except that i love you and you are such a good friend! make sure theres room for me to crash in your new apartment in jersey! hahah
7. dunkin donuts and pacts always remind me of how lucky i am to have you in my life. you are amazing and i love you to death!!
8. i knew you were capable of a lot of bad stuff, but i had no idea just how bad. you were extremely lucky and took it all for granted, saying things no one should ever say. i hope you get your karma soon.
9. you barely know my name, but you always make me laugh. you're an awesome person and i hope i can get to know you better!!
10. theres a lot of people i want to write this about, so this applies to all of them. thank you for being such good friends to me and i love you all to death. : )
Well, there you have it. Do you know which one you are? : )
P-O-N-E-D
<33
mm
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Words can't describe
It's almost been a year since my life changed. June 15th, 2006. Just a few more weeks until I see how much of a difference a year can make. I've met so many amazing people.
We got the letters we wrote to ourselves last year in the mail a few days ago. It was pretty funny, actually. Seeing what people wrote to me and what I wrote to myself. It kind of made me realize that a year really changes everything.
To all the people who have changed my life this past year, thank you::
Becky, Ivy, Morgan, Ashley, Lissa, Mandy, Chris, Lisa, Dana, Emilee, Shari, Rachel, Kat, Steph, Amelia, Joyce, Alyson, Alison, Bri, Nicolette, Taylor, Amanda, Becca, Barbie, Krystle, Ana, Ariel, Jana, Aubrey, Brandi, Krista, Michelle, Cyndal, Danielle, Desiree, Shari, Gabby, Lauren, Jessica, Amy, Larry, Kelley, Mighty Mouse Manda, Sarah, Allison, Paula, Kevin, Joe, Nick, John, Garbo, Phil, George, Tim, and countless others, you know who you are. Thank you for everything. For showing me what life is all about. I'm so blessed to have met you all this past year! And to all of my friends who I've known longer than those listed before, you know who you are as well. I love you guys! Thank you so much for sticking with me!
This summer is truly going to be amazing. Los Angeles with my best friend, traveling across the country with some of my other best friends, seeing three kids who have more talent than anyone I've met in my entire life, and so much more. I cannot wait to see what's in store.
June 17th is probably when reality is really going to set in that it's been almost a year (by then, a year and two days).
For those who don't know what happened on June 15th, let me fill you in. I had two tickets to the Aly & AJ concert at the Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre. I won a contest on 98.5 KRZ to go meet Aly & AJ, so I wasn't sure if I really was dying to go to the concert. I decided I'd go, and when I was walking down the street, I met Kevin and then Nick. I had heard about the Jonas Brothers the summer before, maybe even earlier, but this was the first I would be seeing them. Little did I know at the time that seeing them was the best thing that could have happened to me. That day was the start of lots of travel, many concerts, meeting some amazing people who are now some of my best friends, and realizing what life is all about. I don't know where I'd be today if I decided not to go to that concert. I'm pretty glad I did. I'd rather not find out where I'd be if I hadn't gone.
Then:::
Now:::
Anyways, life is amazing right now. Today I couldn't stop smiling.
I've gotta say, I'm pretty excited for the next year. Maybe I'll write my own letter to myself.
Well, just an update on my life for ya. : )
P-O-N-E-D
<3
mm
We got the letters we wrote to ourselves last year in the mail a few days ago. It was pretty funny, actually. Seeing what people wrote to me and what I wrote to myself. It kind of made me realize that a year really changes everything.
To all the people who have changed my life this past year, thank you::
Becky, Ivy, Morgan, Ashley, Lissa, Mandy, Chris, Lisa, Dana, Emilee, Shari, Rachel, Kat, Steph, Amelia, Joyce, Alyson, Alison, Bri, Nicolette, Taylor, Amanda, Becca, Barbie, Krystle, Ana, Ariel, Jana, Aubrey, Brandi, Krista, Michelle, Cyndal, Danielle, Desiree, Shari, Gabby, Lauren, Jessica, Amy, Larry, Kelley, Mighty Mouse Manda, Sarah, Allison, Paula, Kevin, Joe, Nick, John, Garbo, Phil, George, Tim, and countless others, you know who you are. Thank you for everything. For showing me what life is all about. I'm so blessed to have met you all this past year! And to all of my friends who I've known longer than those listed before, you know who you are as well. I love you guys! Thank you so much for sticking with me!
This summer is truly going to be amazing. Los Angeles with my best friend, traveling across the country with some of my other best friends, seeing three kids who have more talent than anyone I've met in my entire life, and so much more. I cannot wait to see what's in store.
June 17th is probably when reality is really going to set in that it's been almost a year (by then, a year and two days).
For those who don't know what happened on June 15th, let me fill you in. I had two tickets to the Aly & AJ concert at the Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre. I won a contest on 98.5 KRZ to go meet Aly & AJ, so I wasn't sure if I really was dying to go to the concert. I decided I'd go, and when I was walking down the street, I met Kevin and then Nick. I had heard about the Jonas Brothers the summer before, maybe even earlier, but this was the first I would be seeing them. Little did I know at the time that seeing them was the best thing that could have happened to me. That day was the start of lots of travel, many concerts, meeting some amazing people who are now some of my best friends, and realizing what life is all about. I don't know where I'd be today if I decided not to go to that concert. I'm pretty glad I did. I'd rather not find out where I'd be if I hadn't gone.
Then:::
Now:::
Anyways, life is amazing right now. Today I couldn't stop smiling.
I've gotta say, I'm pretty excited for the next year. Maybe I'll write my own letter to myself.
Well, just an update on my life for ya. : )
P-O-N-E-D
<3
mm
Monday, May 21, 2007
It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter
Or, the friends that you can talk to for three hours.
The friends that will LISTEN to you talk about things you've been needing to talk about.
The friends who understand and don't judge.
The friends you can have conversations with that are made up of more than just "haha" and "blah blah".
Today was honestly something I've needed. I didn't realize how much it was all weighing me down until I finally let it out.
I feel like a new person and I haven't felt this free in a long time.
So, to that person who listened, understood, and was an amazing friend, thank you.
And to all of my other friends who have always been there for me, sticking with me through everything (you know who you are), thank you as well.
Tomorrow, I think I'll have to listen to "Innocence" by Avril Lavigne. "Waking up I see that everything is okay, the first time in my life and now it's so great. Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed, I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn't change a thing about it, this is the best feeling."
This summer will truly be amazing.
To all of my friends I haven't seen in a while and to all those who I see pretty often but still not often enough - I cannot wait to see you and share this summer with you!
Well, I'm beat.
"How many minutes? How many miles? How much time till I see you again?"
<3
mm
p-o-n-e-d
The friends that will LISTEN to you talk about things you've been needing to talk about.
The friends who understand and don't judge.
The friends you can have conversations with that are made up of more than just "haha" and "blah blah".
Today was honestly something I've needed. I didn't realize how much it was all weighing me down until I finally let it out.
I feel like a new person and I haven't felt this free in a long time.
So, to that person who listened, understood, and was an amazing friend, thank you.
And to all of my other friends who have always been there for me, sticking with me through everything (you know who you are), thank you as well.
Tomorrow, I think I'll have to listen to "Innocence" by Avril Lavigne. "Waking up I see that everything is okay, the first time in my life and now it's so great. Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed, I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn't change a thing about it, this is the best feeling."
This summer will truly be amazing.
To all of my friends I haven't seen in a while and to all those who I see pretty often but still not often enough - I cannot wait to see you and share this summer with you!
Well, I'm beat.
"How many minutes? How many miles? How much time till I see you again?"
<3
mm
p-o-n-e-d
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Insanity
I realized that this summer is going to be just that...insane. I couldn't be more excited!! Getting to travel the country to see three awesome guys with all of my best friends? I'm so blessed to be able to do this!!
I should know soon which ones I'm going to and which ones I'm not, so those will be posted on here and on my MySpace.
Anyways, I'm really missing all my faves. : (
Sunday I get to see Mandy, Dana, Emilee, and Shari...I'm so excited! Then doing something with Mandy after and maybe Dana, Emilee, and Shari as well.
I'm pretty excited that this school year is almost over. I can't believe I'm going to be a junior! SO WEIRD!
It's also almost been a year since I met those three kids. The year has gone so fast and it has been the best year of my life! That day truly did change my life and my outlook on everything is so different. I'm a much more happy and positive person. I am still amazed at how far those three have come since that day! I'm so blessed to have met such amazing people. I've had so many great experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.
And to all of my friends...I MISS YOU GUYS! We're going to dominate this summer! Can't wait to share it with you guys!
<3double m
"hold on tight, it's a roller coaster ride, say goodbye, cause you won't be back again, up and down you're all around, say goodbye and goodnight"
I should know soon which ones I'm going to and which ones I'm not, so those will be posted on here and on my MySpace.
Anyways, I'm really missing all my faves. : (
Sunday I get to see Mandy, Dana, Emilee, and Shari...I'm so excited! Then doing something with Mandy after and maybe Dana, Emilee, and Shari as well.
I'm pretty excited that this school year is almost over. I can't believe I'm going to be a junior! SO WEIRD!
It's also almost been a year since I met those three kids. The year has gone so fast and it has been the best year of my life! That day truly did change my life and my outlook on everything is so different. I'm a much more happy and positive person. I am still amazed at how far those three have come since that day! I'm so blessed to have met such amazing people. I've had so many great experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.
And to all of my friends...I MISS YOU GUYS! We're going to dominate this summer! Can't wait to share it with you guys!
<3double m
"hold on tight, it's a roller coaster ride, say goodbye, cause you won't be back again, up and down you're all around, say goodbye and goodnight"
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Today - well, actually last night - I realized how much everything and everyone is changing.
Well not everything and not everyone, but a lot of things and people are changing.
Some people are changing for the better, but some people are changing for the worse. That really bums me out. People I never expected to change and never wanted to change are the ones changing. It's not a good feeling. Feeling like your friends are starting to hang out with the wrong crowd, trusting the wrong people. Definitely not something to smile about.
On a brighter note, I've become a lot closer with a lot of people. I've even become closer with some of my best friends who I was already insanely close with. I'm pretty happy with the people in my life at the moment. I hope they don't all change.
Last night, as Paula knows, something happened. Something that could potentially be amazing. Whether or not it'll actually happen, I don't know, but I'm hoping it will.
Anyways, in the midst of everything changing, I've realized that for the first time in a while, I'm truly happy again. It's been a while since I've felt like this.
So to all my friends (you know who you are), thank you. I love you all.
Yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have such amazing friends..
Sappy sappy sappy as always :) You know you love it ;)
P-O-N-E-D
Well not everything and not everyone, but a lot of things and people are changing.
Some people are changing for the better, but some people are changing for the worse. That really bums me out. People I never expected to change and never wanted to change are the ones changing. It's not a good feeling. Feeling like your friends are starting to hang out with the wrong crowd, trusting the wrong people. Definitely not something to smile about.
On a brighter note, I've become a lot closer with a lot of people. I've even become closer with some of my best friends who I was already insanely close with. I'm pretty happy with the people in my life at the moment. I hope they don't all change.
Last night, as Paula knows, something happened. Something that could potentially be amazing. Whether or not it'll actually happen, I don't know, but I'm hoping it will.
Anyways, in the midst of everything changing, I've realized that for the first time in a while, I'm truly happy again. It's been a while since I've felt like this.
So to all my friends (you know who you are), thank you. I love you all.
Yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have such amazing friends..
Sappy sappy sappy as always :) You know you love it ;)
P-O-N-E-D
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The World Has Turned Emo
Today I've realized something.
The whole world has turned emo. Everyone seems sad or seems to hate their life.
I've got news for you...people have it worse. You're not alone when you think you're the only person upset. Everyone has bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Trust me, April was a pretty bad month for me. Now things are looking up.
Church last Sunday was amazing. I think it was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm pretty happy that I was able to go. I wish I could go back again this Sunday, but a ride would be needed for that. :( Bummer...I'd love to see my faves and hang out in tunnels. Good times.
Another thing I've realized? I have the most amazing friends in the world. Becky, Morgan, Ashley, Ivy, Chris, Lisa, Krista, Krystle, and many more. I couldn't live without them.
Sappy, sappy, sappy. I know, I'm a sappy person.
Anyways...quit all the emo business. Life's good...Even if it takes a while for you to realize, you'll realize it.
Love them ^^^ I steal pictures from Dana :)
P-O-N-E-D
P.S. I have a question...Are you really a ninja?
The whole world has turned emo. Everyone seems sad or seems to hate their life.
I've got news for you...people have it worse. You're not alone when you think you're the only person upset. Everyone has bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Trust me, April was a pretty bad month for me. Now things are looking up.
Church last Sunday was amazing. I think it was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm pretty happy that I was able to go. I wish I could go back again this Sunday, but a ride would be needed for that. :( Bummer...I'd love to see my faves and hang out in tunnels. Good times.
Another thing I've realized? I have the most amazing friends in the world. Becky, Morgan, Ashley, Ivy, Chris, Lisa, Krista, Krystle, and many more. I couldn't live without them.
Sappy, sappy, sappy. I know, I'm a sappy person.
Anyways...quit all the emo business. Life's good...Even if it takes a while for you to realize, you'll realize it.
Love them ^^^ I steal pictures from Dana :)
P-O-N-E-D
P.S. I have a question...Are you really a ninja?
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